TORONTO WEST COUNSELLING FOR COUPLES
Christina Dimakos, EdD
Registered Psychotherapist
Couples & Individual Therapist
We'd love to hear from you
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ABOUT COUPLES THERAPY
Conflict, intimacy, and communication are among the most common issues couples encounter. Very often, couples are stuck in repetitive cycles over issues that seem to have no resolution. Couples therapy provides a place where both partners can share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns with an unbiased other. I will listen and, without taking sides, help you make sense of what is happening in your relationship.
Other times, despite best hopes, intentions, and efforts, couples arrive at the painful realization that their relationship – as they know it – is over. Maybe you are one of these couples. And maybe you’ve tried everything – you did the counselling, read the self-help books, sought out the advice of family, friends, and spiritual leaders. But you see clear as day that you are no longer a couple.
It doesn’t have to be a bitter and painful end. There is a better way to break up that doesn’t leave you shattered or destroyed. Modern break-ups offer us something new: the opportunity for growth.
See my LinkedIn article to learn more about how I can guide you through the process of uncoupling:
ABOUT ME
Relationship problems are among the most stressful conditions people face. Distressed couples are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, suicidality, and substance abuse, as well as physiological symptoms including direct effects on cardiovascular, immune, and endocrine systems. Relationship distress contributes to nearly 50% of admissions to mental hospitals, and couple issues have been shown to cause or worsen behavioural and psychological issues in children. These findings make clear that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. For these reasons, I have dedicated my career exclusively to working with couples with a focus on helping repair past and current relationship injuries.
CREDENTIALS
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BSc Psychology (Honours) - University of Toronto
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MA Psychology - Wilfrid Laurier University
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EdD Counselling Psychology & Psychotherapy - University of Toronto
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Registered Psychotherapist, License #11089
I am a Registered Psychotherapist in good standing with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO). Beyond holding a doctorate in Counselling Psychology from the University of Toronto, I have advanced training in couples therapy and relational issues. Over 90% of my client base is couples including gay, straight, and non-binary couples. Couples therapy is my primary area of expertise.
Relationship statistics are from the research of Gurman (2008), Kiecolt-Glaser & Newton (2001), and Long & Young (2007).
HOW I WORK
I work primarily from an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) modality. EFT is a brief, systematic approach that has been studied for decades and is recognized by the American Psychological Association as a scientifically proven form of couples therapy. EFT assumes conflict happens when couples get caught in negative patterns (“the cycle”) where they feel like they are repeating the same fight over and over again without resolution. I will help you identify your cycle by looking beyond surface behaviours to understand the emotions that underlie and drive that behaviour.
EFT provides a clear, 3-stage map for repairing relationships and strengthening your bond. A strong bond translates into greater connection, communication, and intimacy. It also creates greater flexibility so you can take on and solve common everyday problems. I can guide you through the 3 stages of EFT and teach you the tools to become more accessible, responsive, and emotionally engaged with one another.
As an EFT therapist, I can help you by:
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identifying what each of you says and does that contributes to your “cycle”
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pinpointing strengths and what changes need to happen to achieve a more satisfying relationship
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structuring enactments that build trust, safety, and security
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providing a safe space for both of you to struggle
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creating new ways to understand and relate to each other
FEES
Couples Therapy
$185 + HST 60 minutes
$250 + HST 90 minutes
Individual Therapy
$185 + HST 60 minutes
$250 + HST 90 minutes
Invoices can be settled with credit card (Visa, Mastercard, American Express) or Interac e-Tranfser.
FREE
15-minute consultation
Research consistently shows that the
best predictor of therapy outcomes is
the relationship you have with your therapist. Reach out today to see if I
am the right fit for you.
365-440-0428
torontowestcounselling@outlook.com
Frequently Asked Questions
How long will therapy take?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach with strong outcome results. Because there is so much research behind EFT, we know that the average length of treatment for couples is 12-20 weeks, and that most couples who receive EFT treatment continue to see improvements in their relationship even years after therapy has ended*. However, the duration of couples therapy depends on the individual couple and the concerns they bring to therapy. Couples presenting with deep relationship injuries (e.g., infidelity) or significant trauma (e.g., childhood abuse or neglect) will likely require longer-term support to rebuild trust and safety.
*EFT outcome statistics are from the research of: Halchuk, Makinen, & Johnson, 2010; Johnson, 1999; Sexton et al., 2011; and Wiebe & Johnson, 2016.
How often do we have to attend sessions?
I get that life is busy, things happen, and therapy can fall to the side, especially if you are juggling work, family, and other responsibilities. But I encourage couples to attend therapy on a weekly basis. It’s important that once started, we keep the momentum going. When long intervals occur between sessions, we can spend a lot of time playing catch-up rather than doing the real work. Therapy will be more effective if you can commit to weekly sessions. If you are in crisis, eager to dive in, or just feel like once a week isn’t intensive enough, you can choose to attend therapy more frequently.
When is EFT contraindicated?
EFT has been studied for decades and shown to be successful with a variety of couples experiencing a range of problems. However, there are a few situations where EFT would not be appropriate. This includes cases of physical/emotional/sexual abuse, an active addiction, an ongoing affair, or any other situation in which emotional safety (the main goal of EFT) cannot be created. In such a case, I can offer a referral to an individual therapist.
Do you keep secrets between partners?
In the interest of fostering emotional safety, I do not keep secrets between partners. This means that during your individual session, if you share something with me that I feel is important to the couples work (e.g., current or past affair), I will support you in sharing that with your partner. If you choose not to, this would pose a conflict of interest and couples therapy would have to end.
How will we know when we are done couples therapy?
I know what a tremendous commitment couples therapy is - in time, money, and emotional energy. I get that you want to get to the finish line as fast as you can - I want to get you there quickly, too! To do that, we follow the 3 stages of EFT. The first stage is “De-escalation” and involves identifying your negative cycle and understanding the “moves” each of you makes in your cycle, and how these moves impact you and your relationship. Once de-escalated, you will feel better and fight less, and may start to feel like you don’t need couples therapy anymore - I call this the “honeymoon phase.” But research shows that the second phase of EFT, “Re-structuring the Bond” is actually where longer-term change happens. This is when you start having deeper conversations about your relationship fears, needs, and longings, and where partners learn how to reach for and receive one another. Studies show that the completion of stage 2 is why couples continue to see benefits in their relationship years after ending treatment. The final and shortest stage is “Consolidation.” This is where we celebrate all you have accomplished as a couple and create a new story of security and connection.
Should I see an individual therapist too?
Partners often ask me if it would be helpful to pursue individual therapy at the same time they are engaged in couples therapy. For some people, supplementing couples therapy with individual work can really help them understand how certain cognitive, emotional, and behavioural patterns are being played out in their current relationship. If you do decide to pursue individual therapy, I encourage you to find someone who is trained in EFT for individuals (EFIT) to ensure this person understands attachment and works in a relationally-oriented way.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance?
Most insurance providers fully or partially reimburse your payments to a registered psychotherapist (RP). If you plan to submit a claim to your insurance provider, please confirm ahead of time with your provider that they will reimburse our work. The (CRA) now recognizes Registered Psychotherapists (RP) in Ontario as a tax-deductible medical expense.
What if I can’t afford therapy?
If you are facing circumstances that prohibit you from attending therapy, please let me know. I don’t want money to be the reason you are not getting the help and support your relationship needs. We can have a conversation and decide on a rate that both of us can feel good about. The rate you pay can be revisited at any point throughout our work together.